


I’m always stuck in my head

by Ki_kume



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multi, Non-Consensual Touching, Other, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Saihara Shuichi-centric, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Trans Saihara Shuichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24825409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_kume/pseuds/Ki_kume
Summary: mmmm have me projecting onto Shuichi, part 1 of ???
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Saihara Shuichi & Others
Comments: 2
Kudos: 176





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> mmmm have me projecting onto Shuichi, part 1 of ???

_“Stop!”_

Shuichi let out a grunt as he was shoved against the wall. Foreign hands were placed on his body. His breath hitched as he felt them wander.

_”Please stop it!”_

One of the hands had grabbed his ass and his eyes widened. _No no no no. why wasn’t he fighting back? Why wasn’t he trying to stop this man from touching him? Why was he standing there and practically allowing it to happen?_

_”Stop!”_

The man was now unbuttoning his shirt. His hand ghosted around his collarbone, admiring the pale skin. Shuichi couldn’t breath. He felt like he was suffocating due to the other’s gaze.

_”Please...just stop it...”_

He hated how weak he sounded. He sounded so willing at this point. What would his boyfriends say if they saw him like this? Would they call him a whore? Leave him because he was too weak to ever stop his assaulter?

_”Now, I suggest you be good and listen. This will end much faster if you do so.”_

He moved underneath the white button-up, his hand tracing the scars on his chest. He let out a choked sob at the touch. His lithe body squirmed in the man’s grasp, trying to get away.

Shuichi closed his eyes when he heard the sound of a belt buckle unclasping. This was it. _God, this was it._ After this, he was sure he’d be saying good bye to his boyfriends. They’d leave him and he’d have nothing. 

Suddenly the heavy weight of the man’s body was pulled off of him. A pair of smaller arms wrapped around him almost immediately after. He let out a sob and opened his eyes slowly.

Kokichi was hugging him. Shuichi could see a mix of emotions in his purple eyes. Worry. Fear. Dread. Horror. Anger. Hatred. Malice. The smaller boy was shaking slightly and he buried his face into Shuichi’s chest. He could hear a muffled voice.

_”Oh thank God. Thank God we stopped him in time.”_

Another set of arms wrapped around him. He looked over and he met Rantaro’s gaze. The taller boy looked as troubled as Kokichi did.

_“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”_

He felt Kokichi remove his face from his chest to see his response. _Was he okay? He didn’t really know._ He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it. He didn’t trust his voice at the moment, so he shook his head.

His answer caused the two of them to tighten their grip on him. He could feel himself relax in the familiar hold. _The only thing that was missing was - ah!_

_”I’m so sorry Shu. We should have come looking for you right away when you didn’t come home at the turn you normally do.”_

Kaito had joined the group hug now. Shuichi couldn’t help but notice the bit of blood on his fist. He’s sure that if he looked down to the ground, he’d find the guy possibly beaten up and bloody.

_”And I’m so sorry that we were too late to stop him from touching you. He didn’t...he didn’t get too far, did he?”_

Shuichi shook his head. _He could have gotten farther. He almost did._ He was lucky enough that his partners had come, but part of him believed he deserved it.

He felt them all pull away and Rantaro carefully began buttoning up his shirt. Kokichi had grabbed his jacket and bag from the ground. Kaito has wiped away a few tears that had rolled down his cheeks.

_”Lets go home Shumai...”_

Kokichi took his hand and gave it a squeeze. Shuichi nodded and stayed quiet as the four of them made their way back to their apartment.

* * *

He didn’t know how long he had been staring at the ceiling. The sun had risen hours ago. He had barely slept that night. 

_“How are you doing? And don’t lie to me Shumai.”_

His breath hitched and he looked down at his smaller boyfriend that had decided to cling onto him sometime during the night. He shrugged his shoulders.

_”I-I don’t know.”_

_”Talk to me then. Tell me how you feel. I want to help you feel better.”_

He took a deep breath. _God, how did he feel?_

_“I feel like...I deserve what happened. Because I was weak. And I practically let him touch me. I didn’t fight back. I just kept asking him to stop.”_

Shuichi could feel his boyfriend freeze up. The smaller of the two pulled away and forced Shuichi to look at him.

_”No! Don’t ever say that! You didn’t deserve anything he planned to do to you! Don’t ever say that you did! You aren’t weak! You were scared and you weren’t able to think right! Don’t ever say that again! Please!”_

Kokichi was trembling slightly and he quickly wrapped his arms around Shuichi, pulling him into a comforting hug. Shuichi was shocked at his response. He didn’t expect Kokichi to respond like that.

_”K-Kichi...I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d react that way...”_

Kokichi tightened his grip. Shuichi has never seen his boyfriend this pained. He carefully wrapped his own arms around the smaller boy. 

_“I was so worried when you didn’t come home at the time you normally did. You were taking forever and Kaito and Taro didn’t think much of it. I finally convinced them that it was much too late for you to be out._

_”And when we found you. I was so scared that we were too late. I...I was worried you’d hate us. For letting him touch you. At first I stood there, watching. I didn’t know what to do. He was bigger and stronger than me._

_”I watched as Kaito tore him off you. You don’t know how happy I was to see that he’d barely gotten far. But I hated seeing you cry. So I did the only though I could. I tried to comfort you.”_

He was whispering by the end of it. Whispering quietly into his ear. Shuichi now regretted thinking what he did about his boyfriends. They obviously cared more than he thought they did.

_”I thought...I thought you’d all want to leave me. I thought he was actually going to... I was so scared that once it was over, you’d all think I was just a whore. And that you’d want me gone and out of your lives...”_

Kokichi pulled away and looked at him. He looked like he could cry. 

_”God no! Never would I want to leave you! I love you! Just as much as I love Taro and Kaito! You all matter to me. I know they feel the same way. Don’t ever think otherwise.”_

Shuichi gave him a shaky smile and pulled him into a kiss. It felt so reassuring that his boyfriends still respected him. Kokichi pulled back, and moved to lay down next to him.

_”Go back to sleep with me, Shumai. I don’t think Kai or Taro are waking up for a few more hours.”_

He nodded and pulled the purple-haired boy close. He closed his golden eyes and relaxed.

_”I love you Kichi...”_

_”I love you too Shumai...”_


	2. Bad Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a what if ending where the three never went to find him

Rantaro didn’t know what to say at the sight of their boyfriend walking, no, limping into their apartment. It was obvious that something had happened. It had been two hours since he should have gotten home. It was almost midnight now. Getting closer to Shuichi, he could see the extent that of how bad he looked.

His hair was tousled and there were tears running down his cheeks. The green-haired man’s eyes wandered even further down to bruises around the others neck. His eyes widened as they went down more. His shirt wasn’t properly buttoned, exposing his collarbone which was covered in marks.

There were also marks on his wrists. Seeing all these marks on his partner made him more alarmed. They weren’t there that morning when Shuichi left for work. He looked to meet Shuichi in the eyes, but the smaller boy had looked away.

Just then, Kokichi and Kaito entered the room. Rantaro heard what sounded like a sigh of relief from the leader. Soon enough, all three were at Shuichi’s side. Kaito has taken Shuichi’s bag and jacket, putting them to the side. Kokichi has seemed to taken notice of Shuichi’s appearance and forced the golden eyes to look at his purple ones.

_”Shumai? What happened?”_

It was silent. _Too silent_. Shuichi wrapped his arms around himself and lowered his head. They saw his shaking shoulders before they heard the quiet sob.

_”I’m sorry...”_

That confused them. _Why was he apologizing? There was nothing he needed to apologize for, correct?_

_”Shu...what do you mean you’re sorry?”_

Rantaro’s voice was calm. He couldn’t sound too worried. It might stress out his boyfriend more than he obviously already was.

_”I couldn’t...I couldn’t stop him.”_

That definitely was concerning. _Stop him? Who’s him? Stop him from what?_

_”What do you mean sidekick? What and who are you talking about?”_

Shuichi let out a louder sob as he collapsed to the floor, which surprised the three others in the room. He seemed to curl in on himself, trying to make himself as small as possible.

Kaito dropped down immediately, wrapping his arms around Shuichi, trying to comfort the dark-haired boy. It seemed that was the wrong choice though.

_”Stop! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!”_

His voice was bloodcurdling. He pushed Kaito away before backing himself up against the wall. His tears were falling faster now, and he had a terrified look in his eyes. Rantaro could see a hint of something else in them too, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it. 

Rantaro crouched down in front of him, trying to get Shuichi to focus his attention on him. The boy’s breathing was getting worse as he continued to cry.

_”Shuichi. Please calm down. Something happened, and we need you to tell us so we can help you.”_

_”No, I can’t! You’ll get mad at me! You’ll hate me!”_

That hurt, hearing those words. Whatever happened was bad enough that Shuichi feared they’d get mad at him for it.

_”Shumai...we could never hate you or get mad at you. Please just tell us. We want to help you.”_

Kokichi had stepped forward. Shuichi flinched as he moved closer. A look of sadness crossed the purple-haired boy’s face. He didn’t like seeing his beloved so... _scared_.

_”You will though. You’ll get mad. You’ll probably think I’m a whore and leave me!”_

_A whore? Why the hell would they ever think that? Unless..._

_”Shuichi...were you- did someone touch you?”_

Shuichi’s breath hitched at his words and his eyes widened.

_”I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. I tried to get him to stop. I tried to scream for help.”_

It seemed that the other two had caught on. Kokichi’s expression became one that was dark and twisted. Rantaro could feel the anger radiating off both of his boyfriends. He himself was angry at hearing Shuichi’s words, but he had to keep himself calm. For Shuichi’s sake. It’d be bad if he got angry when that was one of the things the detective feared happening.

_”Shuichi. Look at me.”_

He hesitated before meeting his gaze. Rantaro pulled him into a hug. This seemed to be something Shuichi wasn’t expecting because his eyes widened in surprise before he let out more sobs.

_”We will never leave you. Never. You mean so much to us. You’re our boyfriend, and you’re stuck as that until the day you decide you don’t want us anymore. We could never be mad at you for something like this. We could never hate you either. And you aren’t a whore.”_

Shuichi’s sobs were louder now. Kokichi and Kaito seemed to have visibly calmed down now. They had wrapped their arms around their boyfriends, all sitting there as they helped comfort and calmed him.

After a while, when Shuichi had no more tears left to spill, he pulled away. His breathing was more even now. His eyes were red from crying.

_”I...thank you. Thank you for not hating me. Or leaving me.”_

_”Of course sidekick. We love you. You need to always remember that. Whatever happens, we’ll be here for you.”_

_”Yeah, we love you so much Shumai. I don’t think I could ever stop loving you.”_

Shuichi smiled for the first time since that morning. It was only a small smile, but it was a small smile nonetheless.

” _Thank you. I love you so much too.”_

The three smiled at his words.

_”I think we should go get you cleaned up. And then we can go to bed. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but tomorrow we need to discuss what happened. I’ll call Kirigiri tomorrow and tell her that you can’t come in. I’m taking tomorrow off as well._

_“In the morning, one of us can go and grab a morning after pill just to be safe too. I know you said that since you’ve been taking testosterone, the chances of you actually getting pregnant are low but not impossible. It’s just a safety measure. We don’t want to risk anything.”_

Shuichi nodded at his words. Pregnancy was definitely something he didn’t want to risk either. They were only in their early twenties and they still had their whole life ahead of them. Having a baby this young, especially his assaulter’s baby, was definitely something he wasn’t ready for.

_“Okay...do you think one of you could help me clean up? I want...I want to make sure I get all of it.”_

_”Of course. I’ll help you. Kaito can make you some tea and Kokichi can get the washer started, does that sound good?”_

Shuichi nodded in response as Rantaro helped him up. He guided him to the bathroom and Kokichi followed. Rantaro helped him undress before handing the clothes to Kokichi. It took the two a lot to keep calm when they saw the white substance that slowly began to drip from in between their partner’s legs.

Rantaro guided his boyfriend to sit on the bench in the washroom. He began to help clean him up. His hands worked soap into the dark hair, washing it and making it smell like the vanilla soap that Shuichi loved.

After he was sure Shuichi was all cleaned up, he helped him move to get in the bath tub. He checked over him one last time before making sure that he had gotten rid of most traces of his assaulter. Part of him was mad that he couldn’t do anything about the bruises, but he reminded himself that they’d go away on their own.

Now, the four were cuddling on the couch, Shuichi and Kokichi in the middle of their taller boyfriends. The former had a cup of peppermint tea in his hands. He sipped at the hot liquid as the four mindlessly watched whatever show Kokichi had changed the television to.

It was nice and quiet until Kaito felt a little bit of weight on his shoulder. Looking down, Shuichi had seemed to have passed out. None of the three blamed him. He had a long and tiring day.

_”Tomorrow. We get as much information on the guy as possible, and we find him.“_

The two others agreed with Kaito’s statement. They’d find the guy and make him pay.

**Author's Note:**

> If something similar to this has happened or is happening to you, please tell someone, whether it be a friend, loved one, or the authorities. This is not okay.


End file.
